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Tick Tock.. on the Relationship Clock

One of the main things we value as human beings is time. It is one of the most treasured things that we have and can't waste on little nonsense things that make us unhappy. Time is sometimes with us or against us depending on the situation that life has placed us in. Whether you have a paper due, in a relationship, and any other situations; time is of the essence. I had met with a friend earlier this weekend we were talking about everything and the topic of relationships had came up. One point of discussion was "Should I wait for someone to "come around" for a relationship? Meanwhile I deal with people who don't put in any effort in the relationship or even act like they are not even into the relationship that much!" So as I was thinking on this thought of putting all your time and effort into someone who doesn't even do the same is like WHAT?! From my perspective and experience why should I of all people wait for someone that has no interest in investing their time in me? That doesn't really make sense to me at all. If someone had truly wanted you they would have set aside time for you no matter what even if they are working, going to school and have many other things going on. Time is of the essence and while you were trying to get involved with someone who's not really putting in a lot of effort or even giving you there time you could of been investing that time in someone else that is willing to give you their time or investing the time in your own self love. My advice too you when you're in a predicament like this is:

1. Re-evaluate whether that person is really worth it. Does he/she have all or most of the qualities I would like in a partner? Do they fulfill most needs mentally, physically or emotionally? DO THEY MAKE TIME FOR YOU THROUGHOUT THE DAY? (meaning any form of contact : try seeing you in person, they text, dm, FaceTime, or call first)

2. Investigate where their time is going whether its work, school, hanging out with friends, and etc. Eventually you will see where you fall on their priority list (we all have one whether we think about it as a "list" or not). If every time you are trying to do something with that particular invidual and they are giving you everything in the book: "I got work", "I'm hang out with friends tonight", "I have homework", "I'm busy" and " I have errands". If there is no time made and no efforts made what so ever you're better off just walking away. Chances are in this case you never really made their priority list. They probably put your name somewhere on a ripped post it and stuck it somewhere claiming they'll "get back to you".

3. Try to understand the situation that you're in. Make sure you understand all your options and variables. Also understand that there are people out there that do want to put in the effort but something can hinder them like traumatic events (death of someone close, life experiences and etc.), trying to figure themselves out and where they would like to be at a certain point and many other reasons why. Which brings me back to the first to points with re-evaluating and investigating the once you do that you can go from there.

4. Self love is one of the most important things to practice. No matter what you go through the number one person that you should care for is yourself. At the end of the day you're fabulously you and nothing will ever change that. No one can ever take that from you. Self care is important and should be practiced to keep your sanity. It could be anything from yoga, writing, boxing, taking a class, or anything. Take care of you. Become your best version of your self and never let anyone hinder your growth.

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©2017 by Kasandra Dorce